i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it glows. i had to have it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
