I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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