that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
