I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I need water and some morals
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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