Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
