You can't special order awesome
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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