Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
