We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
this is an emotional support booty call
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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