I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
