did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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