moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
