my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
