shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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