Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I will pee on everything he values.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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