i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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