My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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