You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
