EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
