"it" just moved
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
