i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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