WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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