i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
