I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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