she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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