just come out here and I will go home with you...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
well you can't waste a boner
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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