Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
