We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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