if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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