She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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