I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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