You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.