i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
