sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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