Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
