Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
