Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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