I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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