the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Dick very happy bro
FUCK WHALES
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