why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
its liver damage thursday
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize