just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
