i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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