i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
