I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
