Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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