sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
