her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
