And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
