You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
