I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
