I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
