If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
