My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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