apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We need a shit load of segways right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
