No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
