belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's always time for handjobs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
