it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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