Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
