We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
