it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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