Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
