I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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