he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
