You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Jerry, you need to find god
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
