i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
