Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
